Quote

When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Car
Kill
Husband
Doors
Wife
Opens
Either
Cooks
Way
Dresses
Men
Door

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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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