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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Girl
Pointe
Tiptoes
Taller
Ballet
Dancing
Girls
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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