Quote

My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Wallets
Grabbed
Cynical
Doctor
Doctors
Humor
Funny
Cough
Wallet

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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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