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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Behind
Nobody
Hitting
Behinds

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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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