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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Years
Americans
Sarcastic
People
Took
Comedian
Worth
Twenty
Year
Twenties
Five
Ten
Getting
Carry
Humorists
Two
Dollars
Groceries
Today
Stronger
Inflation
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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