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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Years
Americans
Sarcastic
People
Took
Comedian
Worth
Twenty
Year
Twenties
Five
Ten
Getting
Carry
Humorists
Two
Dollars
Groceries
Today
Stronger
Inflation
More quotes by Henny Youngman
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
