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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Years
Americans
Sarcastic
People
Took
Comedian
Worth
Twenty
Year
Twenties
Five
Ten
Getting
Carry
Humorists
Two
Dollars
Groceries
Today
Stronger
Inflation
More quotes by Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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