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Let's get up here before we get killed!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Killed

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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