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Let's get up here before we get killed!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Killed

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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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