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Let's get up here before we get killed!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Killed

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
Henny Youngman
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman