Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Called
Hotel
Sea
Dead
Went
Wife
More quotes by Henny Youngman
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman