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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Dead
Went
Wife
Called
Hotel
Sea
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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