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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Wife
Called
Hotel
Sea
Dead
Went

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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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