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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Went
Wife
Called
Hotel
Sea
Dead

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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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