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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Called
Hotel
Sea
Dead
Went
Wife

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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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