Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Hotel
Sea
Dead
Went
Wife
Called
More quotes by Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
Henny Youngman
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman