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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Went
Wife
Called
Hotel
Sea
Dead

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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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