Quote

We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Couldn
Married
Better
Done
Worse

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
Image
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
Image
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
Image
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Image
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Image
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
Image
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
Image
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
Image
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
Image
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
Image
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
Image
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
Henny Youngman
Image
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
Image
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
Image
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
Image
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
Image
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman