Quote

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Called
Water
Lake
Lakes
Bought
Car
Wife

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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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