Quote

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Lake
Lakes
Bought
Car
Wife
Called
Water

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
Image
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
Image
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
Image
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
Image
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
Image
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
Image
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
Image
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
Image
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
Image
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
Image
A man is at the bar, drunk. I pick him up off the floor, and offer to take him home. On the way to my car, he falls down three times. When I get to his house, I help him out of the car, and on the way to the front door, he falls down four more times. I ring the bell and say, Here's your husband! The man's wife says, Where's his wheelchair?
Henny Youngman
Image
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
Image
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
Henny Youngman
Image
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
Image
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
Image
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
Image
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
Image
Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
Henny Youngman
Image
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman