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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Lake
Lakes
Bought
Car
Wife
Called
Water
More quotes by Henny Youngman
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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