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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Worth
Food
Sitter
Five
Teenage
Hours
Teenager
Inspirational
Hour
Two
Dollars
Baby
Gets
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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