Quote

I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Nobody
Books
Reading
Funny
Bookcase
Book
Bookcases
Lend
Fifty
Hundred

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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My wife drives the wrong way on a one way street. The cop pulled her over and asked, Where are you going? My wife said, I must be late, everyone is all coming back!
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman