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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Memory
Teaching
Teacher
Memories
Taught
Education
History

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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