Quote

My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Teaching
Teacher
Memories
Taught
Education
History
Memory

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
Image
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
Image
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
Image
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Image
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
Image
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
Image
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
Image
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
Image
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
Image
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
Image
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
Image
If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
Image
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
Image
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
Image
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
Image
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
Image
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman