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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Word
True
School
Sassy
Many
Elementary
Spoken
Guess
Teaching
Education
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
