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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Spoken
Guess
Teaching
Education
Word
True
School
Sassy
Many
Elementary
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
