Quote

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Past
Come
Gamble
Gambling
Ten
Horse
Five
Half
Didn

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman