Quote

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Ten
Horse
Five
Half
Didn
Past
Come
Gamble
Gambling

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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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