Quote

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Didn
Past
Come
Gamble
Gambling
Ten
Horse
Five
Half

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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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I'm offended by political jokes. Too often they get elected.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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