Quote

I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Past
Come
Gamble
Gambling
Ten
Horse
Five
Half
Didn

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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
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A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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