Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Dieting
Diets
Starts
Weight
Soon
Wife
Light
Eater
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman