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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Aging
Silly
Happiness
Use
Money

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
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The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman