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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Aging
Silly
Happiness
Use
Money

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
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Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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