Quote

What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Use
Money
Aging
Silly
Happiness

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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman