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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Clubs
Broke
Golf
Humor
Funny
More quotes by Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman