Quote

The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Clubs
Broke
Golf
Humor

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Image
She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
Henny Youngman
Image
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
Image
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
Image
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
Image
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
Image
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
Image
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
Image
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
Image
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish man bought a zebra for a pet. What does he call the zebra? Spot!
Henny Youngman
Image
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
Henny Youngman
Image
Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
Henny Youngman
Image
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
Image
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
Image
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
Image
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
Image
While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
Henny Youngman
Image
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman