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What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Children
Toddler
Sentimental
Silly
Quiet
Baby
Kids
Home
Without
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
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My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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