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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Always
Shops
Life
Shopping
Married
Marriage
Hold
Wife
Funny
Newlyweds
Hands
Bachelors
More quotes by Henny Youngman
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
Henny Youngman
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
Henny Youngman
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
