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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Hands
Bachelors
Always
Shops
Life
Shopping
Married
Marriage
Hold
Wife
Funny
Newlyweds
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Doctor, I have a ringing in my ears. Don't answer!
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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