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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Newlyweds
Hands
Bachelors
Always
Shops
Life
Shopping
Married
Marriage
Hold
Wife
More quotes by Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
Henny Youngman
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
Henny Youngman
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
