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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
First
Comedian
Much
Humorous
Adventure
Succeed
Success
Funny
Skydiving
Inspirational
Violinist
Firsts
Hilarious
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
