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If at first you don't succeed... so much for skydiving.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Much
Humorous
Adventure
Succeed
Success
Funny
Skydiving
Inspirational
Violinist
Firsts
Hilarious
First
Comedian

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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I thought talk was cheap until I saw our telephone bill.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
Henny Youngman
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
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There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman