Quote

A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Front
Okay
Beer
Started
Drunk
Says
Judge
Drinking
Brought
Judging
Fronts

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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
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If a joke is too hard to visualize, I tell the young comics, then what the hell good is it?
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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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