Quote

Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.

Henny Youngman

Change background

T
T
T

Change font

TAGS & TOPICS

Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Jewish
Divorce
Cost
Worth
Humor
Funny
Much
Divorces

More quotes by Henny Youngman

Image
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
Image
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
Image
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
Image
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
Image
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
Image
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
Image
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
Image
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
Image
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
Image
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
Image
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
Image
This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
Image
I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
Image
She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
Image
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
Image
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
Image
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
Image
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Image
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
Image
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman