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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Divorce
Cost
Worth
Humor
Funny
Much
Divorces
Jewish
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
I don't mind when my horse is left at the post. I don't mind when my horse comes up to me in the stands and asks, Which way do I go? But when the horse I bet on is at the $2 window betting on another horse in the same race...
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
Henny Youngman
A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
Henny Youngman
I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
Henny Youngman
There were three kids in my family. One of each sex.
Henny Youngman
He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
Henny Youngman
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
