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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Jewish
Divorce
Cost
Worth
Humor
Funny
Much
Divorces
More quotes by Henny Youngman
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
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I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
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