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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Rooms
Numbers
Hospitality
Funny
Elegant
Hotel
Service
Number
Room
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
College: A fountain of knowledge where all go to drink.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
Henny Youngman
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to.
Henny Youngman
When a man opens a car door for his wife, it's either a new car or a new wife. My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
