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This is an elegant hotel! Room service has an unlisted number.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Elegant
Hotel
Service
Number
Room
Humor
Rooms
Numbers
Hospitality
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
Henny Youngman
If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
Henny Youngman
Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
Henny Youngman
I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
Henny Youngman
I own a hundred and fifty books, but I have no bookcase. Nobody will lend me a bookcase.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
Henny Youngman
I had plastic surgery last week. I cut up my credit cards.
Henny Youngman
My history teacher was so old, he taught from memory.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
A baby-sitter is a teenager who gets two dollars an hour to eat five dollars' worth of your food.
Henny Youngman
My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
Henny Youngman
