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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Position
Start
Funny
Firsts
First
Kneeling
Time
Horse
Saws
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks, Doc, how do I stand? The doctor says, That's what puzzles me!
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I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
Henny Youngman
Psychiatrists say that 1 of 4 people are mentally ill. Check 3 friends. If they are okay, you're it.
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
