Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
First
Kneeling
Time
Horse
Saws
Humor
Position
Start
Funny
Firsts
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
Henny Youngman
I've been married for 49 years. Where have I failed?
Henny Youngman
The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
Most girls are attracted to the simple things in life. Like men.
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
Henny Youngman
I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
Henny Youngman
I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
Henny Youngman
The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
Henny Youngman
A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
Henny Youngman
A Polish terrorist was sent to blow up a car. He burned his mouth on the exhaust pipe!
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
