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That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Position
Start
Funny
Firsts
First
Kneeling
Time
Horse
Saws
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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My wife has a black belt in shopping.
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Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
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I played a lot of tough clubs in my time. Once a guy in one of those clubs wanted to bet me $10 that I was dead. I was afraid to bet.
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My best friend ran away with my wife, and let me tell you, I miss him.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
Henny Youngman
I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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Anybody who thinks talk is cheap has never argued with a traffic cop.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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A woman says to a man, I haven't seen you around here. Yes, I just got out of jail for killing my wife. So you're single!
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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If I had blood, I'd blush.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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