Quote

That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Funny
Firsts
First
Kneeling
Time
Horse
Saws
Humor
Position
Start

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On dancing on pointe: Why don't they just get taller girls?
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She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? No, jump in!
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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Another drunk goes up to a parking meter, puts in a quarter, the dial goes to 60. The drunk says, Huh. I lost 100 pounds!
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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A doctor says to a man, You want to improve your love life? You need to get some exercise. Run ten miles a day. Two weeks later, the man called the doctor. The doctor says, How is your love life since you have been running? I don't know, I'm 140 miles away!
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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