Share
×
Inspirational Quotes
Authors
Professions
Topics
Tags
Quote
That was the first time I saw a horse start from a kneeling position!
Henny Youngman
Share
Change background
T
T
T
Change font
Original
TAGS & TOPICS
Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Position
Start
Funny
Firsts
Kneeling
First
Horse
Time
Saws
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
Henny Youngman
A Jewish man pulls up to the curb and asks the policeman, Can I park here? No says the cop. What about all these other cars? They didn't ask!
Henny Youngman
Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
I was playing golf. I swung, missed the ball, and got a big chunk of dirt. I swung again, missed the ball, and got another big chunk of dirt. Just then, 2 ants climbed on the ball saying, Let's get up here before we get killed!
Henny Youngman
My brother then bought 1000 Japanese cameras. They all go, Crick.
Henny Youngman
What is a home without children? Quiet.
Henny Youngman
There was a girl knocking on my hotel room door all night! Finally, I let her out.
Henny Youngman
The hotel I'm in has a lovely closet. A nail.
Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
Now, the band that inspired that great saying, Stop The Music!!
Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
Henny Youngman
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
This man is frank and earnest with women. In Fresno, he's Frank and in Chicago he's Ernest.
Henny Youngman
I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
Henny Youngman
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
