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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Comedy
Funny
Live
Life
Overseas
Insult
Humor
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
The Doctor says, You'll live to be 60! I AM 60! See, what did I tell you?
Henny Youngman
A Polish guy locked his keys in the car. It took an hour to get his wife out.
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Henny Youngman
My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
Henny Youngman
A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Henny Youngman
If I had blood, I'd blush.
Henny Youngman
I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
Henny Youngman
Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
