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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Insult
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Live
Life
Overseas
More quotes by Henny Youngman
In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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Everytime I ask what time it is, I get a different answer.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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You have a ready wit. Tell me when it's ready.
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My doctor grabbed me by the wallet and said,'Cough'
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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I've kissed so many women I can do it with my eyes closed.
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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My wife and I went back to the hotel where we spent our wedding night. Only this time, I stayed in the bathroom and cried.
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The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I'll never forget my first words in the theatre. Peanuts. Popcorn.
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
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I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
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What is a home without children? Quiet.
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