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If you had your life to live over again, do it overseas.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Overseas
Insult
Humor
Comedy
Funny
Live
Life

More quotes by Henny Youngman

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Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
Henny Youngman
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
Henny Youngman
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I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
Henny Youngman
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A Polish man had his vasectomy done at Sears. Now when he makes love, the garage door goes up.
Henny Youngman
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
Henny Youngman
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Why do Jewish divorces cost so much? They're worth it.
Henny Youngman
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Why do Jewish men die before their wives? They want to.
Henny Youngman
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I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, There is water in the carburetor. I said, Where's the car? She said, In the lake.
Henny Youngman
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I live about four muggings from Central Park.
Henny Youngman
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Payday at my house is like the Academy Awards. My wife says: May I have the envelope please.
Henny Youngman
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
Henny Youngman
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The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
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Just think, if it weren't for marriage, men would go through life thinking they had no faults at all.
Henny Youngman
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
Henny Youngman
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When I go to a restaurant I always ask the manager, Give me a table near a waiter.
Henny Youngman