Quote

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Pay
Comedy
Taken
Unlocked
Doesn
Wraps
Doe
Trash
Men
Puts
Car
Gift

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I have a car that I call Flattery because it gets me nowhere.
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I know a man in Ft. Worth with 100,000 head of cattle. No bodies, just heads.
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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Why are you hitting me, there is nobody behind us!
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A guy says, I'm so old that I forgot how old I am. An old woman says, I'll tell you how old you are. Take off your clothes and bend over. The man does this. The woman says, You're seventy four. The man says, How can you tell? The woman says, You told me yesterday.
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A bomb fell on Italy. It slid off!
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The horse I bet on was so slow, the jockey kept a diary of the trip.
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All men are not homeless, but some men are home less than others.
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A Polish man had a bandage on each ear. What happened? I was ironing, and the phone rang! What about the other ear? Had to call the doctor!
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
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Zsa Zsa Gabor is an expert housekeeper. Every time she gets divorced, she keeps the house.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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I call my lawyer and say, 'Can I ask you two questions?' He says, 'What's the second question?'
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