Quote

I know a man who doesn't pay to have his trash taken out. How does he get rid of his trash? He gift wraps it, and puts in into an unlocked car.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Doesn
Wraps
Doe
Trash
Men
Puts
Car
Gift
Pay
Comedy
Taken
Unlocked

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Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
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Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
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Just got back from a pleasure trip: I took my mother-in-law to the airport.
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I wish my brother would learn a trade, so I would know what kind of work he's out of.
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My horse was so late getting home, he tiptoed into the stable.
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Let's get up here before we get killed!
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My wife is a light eater. As soon as it's light, she starts to eat.
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I went to the bank and reviewed my savings, I found out I have all the money I'll ever need. If I die tomorrow.
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I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
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I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
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I have a lovely room and bath in the hotel. It's a little inconvenient, they're in two separate buildings!
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Two Polish men at Halloween with burned faces. What happened? They were bobbing for french fries.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
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I know what I'm giving up for Lent: my New Year's resolutions.
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Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.
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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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I told my mother-in-law my house is your house. So she sold it.
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You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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