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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Men
Worse
Usually
Students
Teaching
Teacher
Taught
Poor
Self
Student
More quotes by Henny Youngman
A drunk was in front of a judge. The judge says You've been brought here for drinking. The drunk says Okay, let's get started.
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Have you noticed that families on TV never watch television?
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I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
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Americans are getting stronger. Twenty years ago, it took two people to carry ten dollars' worth of groceries. Today, a five-year-old can do it.
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
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Where did you get your haircut, the pet shop?
Henny Youngman
I know a man who is a diamond cutter. He mows the lawn at Yankee Stadium.
Henny Youngman
I don't believe in reincarnation, but what were you when you were alive?
Henny Youngman
Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
Henny Youngman
I bet on a horse at ten-to-one. It didn't come in until half-past five.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
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I have terrible luck. Last week my chauffeur ran off without my wife.
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My wife will buy anything marked down. Last year she bought an escalator.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying, Mrs. Cohen, your check came back. Mrs. Cohen answered, So did my arthritis!
Henny Youngman
Are you Polish? Okay, I'll talk slower.
Henny Youngman
We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
Henny Youngman
The room is so small, when I put the key in, I broke the window!
Henny Youngman
Most marriage failures are caused by failures marrying.
Henny Youngman
