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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.
Henny Youngman
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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Poor
Self
Student
Men
Worse
Usually
Students
Teaching
Teacher
Taught
More quotes by Henny Youngman
Nurse: Doctor, the man you just gave a clean bill of health to dropped dead right as he was leaving the office. Doctor: Turn him around, make it look like he was walking in.
Henny Youngman
I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
Henny Youngman
Are you married? What do you do for agravation?
Henny Youngman
I've been in love with the same woman for forty-one years. If my wife finds out, she'll kill me.
Henny Youngman
The other day I broke 70. That's a lot of clubs.
Henny Youngman
You have the Midas touch. Everything you touch turns to a muffler.
Henny Youngman
My room is so small, the mice are hunchbacked.
Henny Youngman
My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.
Henny Youngman
I'm paid to make an idiot out of myself. Why do you do it for free?
Henny Youngman
My wife has a keen sense of humor. The more I humor her, the better.
Henny Youngman
Is that your hat or are you wearing a cabana?
Henny Youngman
I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
Henny Youngman
A tough guy told me, I'll bet you $10 you're dead. I was afraid to bet him.
Henny Youngman
Two Santa Clauses on the corner. How can you tell the Polish one? The one with the Easter basket.
Henny Youngman
The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
Henny Youngman
My wife and I went to a hotel where we got a waterbed. My wife called it the Dead Sea.
Henny Youngman
A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
Henny Youngman
My wife has a black belt in shopping.
Henny Youngman
How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
Henny Youngman
Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
Henny Youngman
