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A self-taught man usually has a poor teacher and a worse student.

Henny Youngman

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Henny Youngman
Age: 91 †
Born: 1906
Born: March 16
Died: 1998
Died: February 24
Actor
Comedian
Film Actor
Musician
Violinist
City of Liverpool
Usually
Students
Teaching
Teacher
Taught
Poor
Self
Student
Men
Worse

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I once wanted to become an atheist, but I gave up - they have no holidays.
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I'll tell you how to beat the gambling in Las Vegas. When you get off the airplane, walk right into the propeller.
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He had a defect, which to a comic might be fatal. He wasn't funny.
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The doctor says to the patient, Take your clothes off and stick your tongue out the window. What will that do asks the patient. The doctor says I'm mad at my neighbor!.
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Don't move! I want to forget you just the way you are.
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Have I got a mother-in-law. She's so neat she puts paper under the cuckoo clock.
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Last night I ordered a whole meal in French. Even the waiter was amazed - it was a Chinese restaurant!
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A motel is where you give up good dollars for bad quarters.
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We were married for better or worse. I couldn't have done better, and she couldn't have done worse.
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I'd commit suicide, if I could do it without killing myself.
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Doctor says to a man, You're pregnant! The man says, How does a man get pregnant? The doctor says, The usual way - a little wine, a little dinner....
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My brother then opened a tall man's shop in Tokyo.
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In elementary school, many a true word is spoken in guess.
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While playing golf today, I hit two good balls. I stepped on a rake.
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A woman was taking a shower. There is a knock on the door. Who is it? Blind man! The woman opens the door. Where do you want these blinds, lady?
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She must have Egyptian blood. Every time I try to kiss her she says, Tut, Tut!
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What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money.
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The more I think of you, the less I think of you.
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He is the only man I ever met with a seersucker face.
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How do Polish people spell farm? E-I-E-I-O
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